I love my dog. Look, here is a picture of him, his name is Willie. He’s pretty bad-ass, maybe even cooler than your dog (I’m sure of it).
I’m totally guilty of buying him a new toy on his birthday and other holidays. According to this graphic we Americans spend 5 Billion dollars on gifts for our pets! It also says 25% of you all blow dry your pet after a bath. Are you kidding me? I do a lot for my dog, he has it pretty easy, but no way I am ever going to blow dry em’.
How come y’all suck at training your dogs? I know you watch enough Dog Whisperer to know how to control them, but you don’t. Willie looks like he’s been in a bar fight everyday after the park. The other dogs can’t catch up to him and just nip at him when he finally slows down for a rest. At least he’s got a torn ear and dozens of scars to show off to his dog friends.
Some things I don’t understand about reptile owners.
Example A:
A person who catches dogs is called a dog catcher. A person who catches snakes is a snake wrangler. The ability to wrangle just isn’t a quality I want my pet to have, it’s straight scary.
Example B:
Snuggling with your reptile doesn’t sound comfortable.
Example C:
If your reptile escapes, good luck at getting them back. If anyone finds a reptile in their front yard there is no “Awwww, look at this poor snake.” There’s just a good chance it’ll receive a shovel to the face.
As for pets, I’m sticking with the four legged furry kind. [Via]